TSA Pays $1.4M for Security Profiler

Controversy last week as it was announced the TSA paid $1.4M for an iPad Application that chose passengers at random for extra or less security screening. Software developers around the world were baffled, left wondering where did all the money go for an application that is reasonably simple for a programmer to create. One developer stated “Pffft, I would have done it for $1.3M”, while one Reddit reader, username “l33tHax95, said, “A script kiddie with a few lines of Lua could have done a better job”.

However, it was revealed today, after weeks of use in Airports across the country, that the Application was not random  at all. The application has now been revealed to be a sophisticated security profiler. The app had been statistically favouring bearded men for additional security, and choosing certain other demographics for less or more security checks at a statistically significant rate.

When asked officially about the app not being random, the TSA denied such claims and emphasized it was for the efficiency and security of travellers.

Anita Sarkeesian (@femfreq) weighed in on the matter, blasting the TSA as racist and irresponsible, and started a trending movement on Twitter with the Hashtag “#TSANoWay”.  When interviewed about the issue and asked if she’d ever been given additional security screenings, Sarkeesian responded ,”Everything is racist, everything is sexist, everything is homophobic, and we have to point it ALL out. Please donate”.

Finally, republican candidate Donald Trump weighed in to the issue saying “Look – and I’m all for it – but with these checks, we have to get to the problem. We have a tremendous responsibility, and, my friends, and I have friends, they ask me. They say, ‘Donald, why didn’t I get checked but that guy did?’ And you know what I say? ‘We have to build a wall! It’s a tremendous problem.’ We’re gonna be great on security “

Spread the news!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *